Five planets in retrograde introduces itself to me by getting farted on

Wherever I went, the USPS some dude next to me had a silent but deadly smelled like you shat your pants blow out right beside me at the post office. So, really dude? I was trying hard not to laugh my ass off at how people surrounding him knew he did it, trust me it was stinky, but pretended it didn’t happen. Hell, I would have high fived him for making me laugh if someone would have acknowledged that it was mighty nasty. But, again I didn’t want to embarrass anyone.

So four hours later I am at Lowes walking down and aisle while some old bastard drops funk right beside me. Well this time I laughed and was like, really is this how we start June and planets in retrograde by getting farted on in public. How often does this happen, not often enough. Though the dude at the post office had the winner. More of a sulphur smell you know. The dude at Lowe’s smelled like dog poop.

While the idiots are out looting, I am probably getting old because it no longer bothers or embarrasses me to acknowledge public farting. In fact if your going to introduce yourself with such wonderful humorous topics, then I am in and this is proving to be a good thing for me.

Go retrograde!!!!!!!!!!

When inspiration strikes, flow with it

Woke up this morning with the idea coming to life so I just have to flow with it. There will be soon, another addition to the Pagan Puppy series this month or next. I love writing books for the children. My kids psychic series is doing very well. I have sold several copies of Emily the Empath. Only one copy of Acid Trips With Jesus and the Pursuit of Happiness, which we were hoping would do better. Self publishing is not an easy occupation.

So when inspiration just appears as if out of nowhere, follow it, flow with it and write away@!

Hotel reviews for Lookout Mountain Tennesee, you want truth, here you go…..

One state I still can’t spell, or so they think. I layed some voodoo of compassion and mercy all over that town and Jasper as well. The dog laid the deuce only for the cops. Anyway, Do not stay at the Howard Johnson in Lookout Mountain unless you are partial to cigarette smoke so bad it smelled like a moldy bar (and I smoke) and it was bad. The mattress was from 1980 maybe along with the comforter in gold which didn’t look expensive. I am sure there were bed bugs but didn’t hang around long enough to know get that refund within ten minutes. Cost of room was 56.99 for the weekend. It says 2.5 stars, more like negative 2.5 stars. Enough to drive you to drink so you can sleep without your skin a crawling, you know? Yes it was the worst I have ever been in and totally unacceptable. Bunch of swisher sweet stuffed under mattress and I am sure its seen its share of needles as well.

The Clarion will wallet rape you for extra fees, 20.00 per night bed tax, which must have been included in the HO JO”S fee. Scam if you ask me. So they had dirty needles outside in yard as well and no-one bothered to pick up the awful trash outside. Pool is seasonal too. No breakfast although they have the set up and god forbid anyone have to go out of their way to be that extra nice thing.

The Hilton, looked good from the bottom of the hill of the Clarion. So go there and let me know or stay in another towns Hilton because lookout mountain is a tourist trap, However the gas station attendants who allowed my dog to come in with me I want to thank you for your hospitality all the way to Ohio where they had a fit and are not good to dogs in public. Uptight and anal nose to the rules kinda thing. Thats why down south, they will always win with me. Kind of like the Hilton.

Some more words of wisdom from Alexander the Great

People always talk shit about my hero! Your telling and repeating lies and your ruining his reputation. You see the surface of the pond like a narcissitic judge but refuse to see the deeper meaing. Which is why if you meet me you think i have contempt for your laziness and ignorance. I dont, I just wish you would realize that you arent guaranteed wisdom because your degree says Harvard, unibomber case in point.

Alexander Revisited is the movie to begin with. He treated others well. Or atleast he tried to and he loved animals not trapping them in their stall all day but allowing them to live. The horse chooses its owner. Just like we choose who we serve. My dog Alexander reminded me of this lesson on our trip to Tennessee and I will pass on this lesson to you. Like a gift that just keeps on giving.

So to all the MOMs out there how do you want to be treated? Ask yourself, then do it for yourself and the law of attraction will attract that energy to you. Our goal is happiness not sacrafice and struggle. Our goal is not to be the best but to be the most happy. Making you the most wise one around. A lesson from Alexander the Great, the hero, the dog, the best friend and merciful one. He is an awesome companion whether you beleive in my dogs divinity or the ghost of the Great Merciful one or not. I beleive and that makes me happy.

Travel Stories with Alexander the Great, the cockblocking dog

I went to Ohio on a road trip this year to retreive my daughter a week ago. What an adventure that was for Alexander and I. If you will remember I have the rave party cockblocking dog!!!! And he did not dissapoint us on this trip. I swear the dog has a divinity in him.

Okay so we went to the jail in Jasper, Tennessee to visit a friend on Thursday night as we came back down to Florida we stayed at Lookout Mountain area. All day in the car on Weds. and Thurs i cannot figure out why Alex wont drop a deuce. Maybe the Mcdonalds food he had all week has constipated him? Dont know. Some days he poops four times. Well not Weds or Thurs because Alex had saved it for the most perfect moment and here’ s where the divinity comes in……

At the jail we have “video chat” and they never came to help us nor did they put my brother on to talk with us. We go to the car in the front parking lot to leave where Alex had been patiently (NOT) waiting and he dropped a deuce finally. In the car. So Jackie, my daughter goes to clean it while i am getting Siri directions in the driver seat. She puts the shit and towels all under the car, noticably big mess. I pull out and look back and was like WTF? Not only did Alex corrupt my daughter but he waited till the most perfect time to take a shit so we could leave it outside the sherriff’s department for them to clean up. Making the dog, divine. I laughed so hard I cried and if you know me i dont beleive in coincidence. (my son also calls us macedonians who need deported) because my brother and I are totally crazy. Now my daughter and dog have been corrupted. I am praying its not on video but silently hoping it is so they know the dog, my daughter and I totally disrespect their lying officers. That dirty Dawg did too and he’s perfectly an innocent creature. So Alex continued to be treated like a King the rest of the trip home. He is now safely dropping deuces outside the house in the front fenced area where he is supposed to. My daughter is not in trouble because it was such a perfectly humorous comedic moment I would rather congratulate her genius than punish her for littering. This is why my ex husband and Jackies father says you should all elect me as a judge. Because the stupid shit we do is at times the glory of the world. Healing with laughter is a divine trait given to the heyoke spirits who are allowed to humble anyone, including the sherriff by divine and god’s decree.

Its funny because a pentacostal preacher, ex drug addict was the only one who helped us with the video stuff and talked with us as southerners do, we are hospitable if nothing elses. We also dont hide crazy down here, we put it on the porch and give it a cocktail. Glad to be home. Anyway the holy spirit was moving and apparently can enter the dogs.

I am glad to report we had a safe trip. However I do have to add if you stay at Lookout Mountain in Georgia or Tennesee, spring for the Hilton because apparently three star hotels are no breakfast, dollar store hole burned sheets, and needles on the ground. Not exaggerating. Avoid the Clarion whose rate is 69.99 until you go inside and they rape your wallet with the 20 per night bed tax and the 20 per night pet charge. I would call instead of using expedia who hides these fees in the very tiny print. Dogs are also more welcome down south than up north. Ohio was the worst if you want to bring a dog alone. Speedway wont even allow you to go in with a dog for a fucking pop.

The photos show Alexander dressed as Freddy Kreuger in his costume. No he does not like getting dressed up. Especially the hats, but take note of the glove. With little knives, how can you resist?

Back to Basics today

Finishing a book or work is really hard, the next few days. I have to remember to take a few days off and just rest. When I dont, days like yesterday happen. The good thing is I got the item i really wanted and the art studio is organized.

Everytime I finish a book or large project, I feel a bit let down. Kind of depressed. You spent all that time thinking about it from thought to manifestation, then it’s here. It’s finished, your job is over. What next? Typically its good to rest for a few days afterward, and i knew this, but didnt listen.

I came in the studio, decided to just play and found out some really cool things today. Bringing it back to mixing things i know with things i dont and just experimenting. Somehow when you do things only for money, it tends to suck the joy right out of creating.

Just one of those days yesterday!

I cannot find papers to my sewing machine and have somehow not reloaded the bobbin right. I was very infuriated yesterday and now dont know why I though a singer with all its bullshit placements was a good idea to begin with. I should have bought the project runway machine from the start. I make clothes, I like doing it and that damn machine is a pain in the ass. So if anyone likes Singer sewing machines, I have one for sale. Threading it, and the bobbin are a pain with that brand. Its like apple versus android or whatever.

I definitely threw an artist fit, wanted to throw the machine through the window of the place I had bought it from and tore up the studio. It’s now organized and looking much better, by the way. No, i did not find the manual to the fucking machine. I dont want the machine anymore and I hate it. It’s like i cursed the object from bad memories or something.

On top of that all the bad memories of my mom’s pushy and horrible teachings shoved down my throat are coming back to light. So i have dealt with them, but the machine still represents everything i hate about sewing. When I got a B award, which you have to really suck to get in 4H, at the fair, she was the one who took the project from me and sewed it because i was too slow. Noone ever bothered to ask me if i wanted to sew. No, i did not at that time. Boys were more important and I just really still kind of like barbies and my doll house. In the long run, it made me a better writer because thats where i excel. I won a state fair, which is awesome, award for creative writing. I was the one who wrote it. No assistance needed. Perhaps i should just keep designing clothes as a side hobby while working on my writing?

Is the universe trying to tell me something, other than i need a new sewing machine? Better yet, am I refusing to listen to what the universe is trying to tell me?

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